Still Shiny, Less New

Well, I did say in my last post that I wouldn’t be sticking to any kind of update schedule but I’m still surprised it’s been so long. A lot has happened in the last five months, so here’s a jumble of disjointed paragraphs to catch you up.


The biggest news is that J (better known as Thingy to most of the internet, don’t ask) is actually in the same country as me. Like, 3 inches away now, instead of 300 miles. I just prodded him to make sure, he didn’t seem to mind but he’s immune to my bullshit. He’s got a shiny new job, with nice and regular hours, at what seems like a great company and I could not be prouder of him. The commute is a bit of a pain from our current location and while I would love to move to the gorgeous village his office is based in, house prices there are some of the most expensive in the north of England, so that’s a definite no for now! Hopefully, we’ll be able to get close enough to cut J’s journey times down but not bankrupt us at the same time.

Other important news is that I’m finally on the road to getting treatment for my PMDD / PMS (PMS is the official diagnosis in the UK but as that conjures up images of craving chocolate and getting a bit weepy, I tend to use the American version more). I’ve suffered this since I started my period 20 years ago (!) but it’s taken me this long to find a doctor who’d take me seriously. Well, my GP has at least, the consultant gynaecologist I saw this week… Oh boy, that deserves a post.


I’ve changed my mind about getting the Delf Claus and Nina I purchased modified. I realised I wanted so much work doing to them, they would barely resemble their original designs. I prefer the look of the older, Cerberus Project sculpted Delfs; something it took parting with four of them and buying the newer versions to realise but I’m glad I’m finally settled on what I want now. I would’ve still had to sell my older dolls anyway as the “beauty white” skin just wasn’t doing it for me and, of course, white Delfs of that era have an unfortunate tendency to discolour heavily, everything from buttercup yellow to a shade dubbed “beauty green” by the dollfie community! So, I’m going to sell my unmodified, fresh from the factory new Delfs and then look for some older models in the pinky, less volatile “normal” resin tone. By then, I should have the space to enjoy my dolls and all of my other hobbies that have suffered due to a lack of room, so I’m looking forward to it!


I’m playing MMOs a lot less now that my gaming buddy is sharing my PC and honestly, I’m feeling less inclined to spend any time at all on them. I still enjoy playing through their stories but the rest of the MMO experience just doesn’t work for me as a solo player. I know, I could seek out more people but my earlier guild experiences, especially the last one, has made me really hesitant to do so and to be honest, I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.


I’m still decluttering, albeit a lot slower now I’m sharing my space with someone who sleeps like a regular human, but I’m still confident that all the unnecessary stuff will have gone before we move. The hardest thing has been resisting the urge to throw away everything that’s in the “sell” pile, just so I don’t have to look at it but, thanks to eBay, the pile is getting smaller and the money will be useful for buying household things. Presuming I don’t spend it on crap before then, which is unlikely.

Beyond that, not much has changed. I’ve refound some of my old loves, like tarot and fancy tea, and I’m slowly starting to feel more like myself again. Not the same as the last time I felt like a Real Human Being™, far too much has happened for that, but all the pieces are coming together and I’m starting to hate myself a little less.

Actually no, I just got excited by a Dyson Flexi Crevice tool and all the things I can vacuum with it. Self-loathing has returned and deservedly so.


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